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Thursday, April 17, 2008

The Mother of the Groom

A note from Shirley: Today's guest blog is from the great and talented Leigh Riker, who writes hilarious, touching books that celebrate women. She's the mother of the groom, and she's got a common dilemma...what to wear!

What does the mother of the groom wear to the wedding?


Don't get me wrong. I love weddings! I adore them. I'm a sucker for TV shows like "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?" and its successor in the cycle of life, "Baby Story." And what could be more fun for a mother than that phone call from my younger son last spring that he was engaged? A late summer ceremony was being planned, and of course I was eager to do my part. I couldn't wait.

Weddings--as we all know--are that special day when the bride plays her starring role of a lifetime. Her mother comes next in the order of things, and then her father who proudly walks her down the aisle-and gives his cherished "little girl" away to another man. Hal's fiancée is very close to her parents and they're a wonderful couple. This was going to be a very special event.

It would be all the more so because several years ago my husband and I nearly lost Hal and the bride's parents nearly lost Kim to devastating medical conditions. Not only was this wedding now to be a joyous occasion--both the bride and groom are healthy again--but a miracle on both sides. I could already feel the tears and the laughter bubbling up within me.

A few weeks later Kim had already chosen her gown, a gorgeous, classic column of strapless winter white satin. Her mother--who was serving as wedding planner and doing a tremendous job!--would wear a lovely champagne-colored dress overlaid with stylish, petaled layers of sheer fabric. Designer dresses, both. The bridesmaid and matrons of honor would look slim and summery in yellow strapless tea length gowns.

Me? I didn't have a clue.

With a month to go before the wedding, I abandoned my original plan. That off-white crepe suit with a silky turquoise cami underneath just wasn't going to cut it after all. I certainly didn't want to come too close to the color of the bride's dress. That's a definite no-no.

So here I went, off on a shopping expedition. The wedding loomed. I had to wear something.

The clock was ticking. With the ceremony's location--the patio of a beautiful inn at Old Saybrook, Connecticut, right on the shore with the marina in the background--and the wedding party's colors in mind, I finally found The Dress. A fitted style with a slightly flared skirt, also tea length.

Sigh of relief. I wouldn't clash with the bride, the bridesmaids, or the groom and his attendants whose nautical theme of navy blue blazers, white shirts and yellow ties nicely suited the seaside environment.

Are you familiar with the color olivine?

It's a soft green, not too dark, not too light. I'm told my choice looked just fine-even if, as a writer, I'm not that used to "dressing up" and felt rather like I was going to the prom.

But what I wore is not the important part. Not by any means. That was my private struggle as the mother of the groom.

What is important? That special day was, indeed, very special with lots of laughter and happy tears. The weather proved to be perfect with a cloudless blue sky and a faint breeze off the water. The ceremony went off without a hitch (well, except for the fact that the bride's mother and I never did manage to light that unity candle in the wind). Everyone looked great. The wedding party and the guests had a fabulous, fun time at the reception.

And best of all, the bride and groom are living happily ever after....



Blogger Virginia said...

You know being there on the big day is the most important part, not what you wear.

April 17, 2008 at 9:05 AM  
Anonymous Linda g said...


I love your story because I had a common delimma when my son married. Although the engagement lasted for a year, in which I searched diligently for the 'right' dress, I didn't find anything that suited me until two weeks before the wedding. So I can totally relate. I was starting to sweat it!

Now I'm wondering if all mothers of the groom worry about looking good. Well, in my case, I wasn't trying to look good. I just didn't want to embarrass my son!:-)

April 17, 2008 at 12:42 PM  
Blogger ThatBrunette said...

I thought the MOB and the MOG were supposed to co-ordinate with the wedding colors? Our colors were red and purple (they look better together than they sound) I told both mothers to chose from those colors.

I guess it really depends on whether or not the bride has an opinion. Since I was asked for an opinion, I gave one.

April 17, 2008 at 12:44 PM  
Blogger Myrna said...

My m-i-l made her dress for my wedding and for her other son's wedding. Both were beautiful and one of them she knit!

If I had to make dresses for my sons' weddings, I'd have to show up with a sheet pinned on me (toga mother of the groom, anyone)?

And Leigh, olivine sounds lovely.

April 17, 2008 at 5:50 PM  
Anonymous Jresha said...

Mother of Groom is really important part in wedding. so what u wear is not that much important it's a special event for her.

April 18, 2008 at 12:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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April 28, 2008 at 11:16 PM  
Blogger Nathalie said...

I think it is called the big day because it celebrates love and compagnionship at its best...

April 29, 2008 at 4:04 PM  
Anonymous Mother of the Groom Dresses said...

Finding the perfect Mother of the Groom dresses makes the occasion all the more enjoyable.

Stop by my Mother of the Groom dresses blog sometime.

July 4, 2009 at 3:57 PM  
Blogger William James said...

in wedding every one want to use sexy looking dress. you can get good collection of such types of dress from Strapless Mother of the Bride Dresses

February 10, 2014 at 3:32 AM  

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